You may find that whether you are using the Bandler or Erickson handshake, you always encounter the same problem – heavy arms! This may be down to your technique, though it is more likely to do with the level of confidence and congruence that you are projecting. Or, it may simply be a run of bad luck!
Either way, a useful way to proceed, at least until this stops being a regular problem, is to use two hands. You have no doubt seen people, usually in Business, who hold their partner’s forearm with one hand, whilst their other hand does the shaking. This is something you can utilise. In fact, with Bandler, it can be perfectly natural to end up with one hand holding their hand up, whilst your other hand is under their elbow.
It is useful not to be too constrained by instructions regarding the correct way to do these inductions (even those found in our books). That will only add pressure and make things seem forced. It is more natural to flow with what feels most natural to you. Yet, in this instance, I would recommend the two-armed approach, which can feel just as natural as a one-handed handshake.
You then gradually let go of the arm, a bit from the top, a bit from the bottom, then apply ambiguous pressure here and there, until they are left not knowing who is keeping their arm up. With practice, you will feel when they ‘take’ the arm. This is usually a subconscious decision on their part. Either way, you carry on as if everything is taking place as expected.
